The World According To E, Ryan and The Girl

that a girl

Lily loves baseball. LOVES. Since she watched her brother play, she asks me to practice with her all the time. And she's actually quite good considering her size (very small) and experience (none). She always wants to know when she'll be able to play on a team like her brother.

After practicing one day we were walking into the house from the backyard and I said "really good job Lily" and she said "When I play on a team, everyone is going to say 'that girl is the best player out here.'

my wife's life

Ryan and I were wrestling in my wife and I's bed. He pinched my nose and so I pinched his back and we both held on, neither of us willing to let go. 

Just then my wife walked in and said "Oh what the hell?"

not what I expected

Lily opened a fortune cookie and asked me to read it.

Me: It says "Now is a good time to try something new."

Lily: What does that mean?

Me: It means you should do something you've never done before.

(she thinks)

Lily: Can I make sausage?

Lily's name

Before reading, you need to know that Lily calls Captain America (from The Avengers) "Captain in America" and she LOVES him even though she has only seen him in commercials.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lily: Daddy, why did you name me Lily?

Me: Well, Mommy and I talked about it and we thought it was a really pretty name.

Lily: Why not Captain in America?

Me: Uh...that just didn't seem like a good name.

Lily: What about Yucky Princess?

Me: Um...that also doesn't seem like a good name.

Lily: Good, because I don't like Yucky Princesses.

Me: OK great.

Daddy wisdom tested

Lily: Daddy, can I be a firefighter?

Me: Sure, you can be anything you want when you grow up.

Lily: Can I be a firefighter dog?

Me: ...

Take me out to the ballgame

We brought Lily to her first big-league baseball game. We had good seats, close to the field, and were surrounded by a crowd of 35,000 people. 

 

 

 

 

Lily: Daddy, can I use your phone to take a picture?

Me: Sure.

"She's so overwhelmed by this that she wants to take a picture of it," I thought. "So cute..."

Not exactly.

She pressed the switch button and took pictures of herself.

 

Lack of

Lily loves the swimming pool, but she will only go on the steps where the water is up to her knees.

I tried to pick her up so I could carry her around the pool and show her that nothing bad would happen, but she started screaming at the top of her lungs, even though she was fully decked out in enough floating gear to keep an elephant from sinking.

Me: Lily, it's OK. I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you.

Lily: (screaming)

Me: I promise I will hold onto to you very tightly.

Lily: (screaming)

E: Daddy!!

Me: What is it, E?

E: She doesn't trust you.

Sister box-head

As a present for her recent birthday, Lily received a little flower garden to plant. E offered to help her put it together.

I wanted to check on their progress, which I thought would be a lovely photo opp of a brother and sister working together, and this is what I saw.

Good to know

We bought Lily a Slip-N-Slide for her fifth birthday and I was in the back yard setting it up. 

I got it all stretched out and the hose attached and as we stood together, admiring my work, she put her hand on my side and said "I like you Daddy."

 

Lily joke

Ryan loves to tell jokes that he reads or hears. Sometimes, this motivates Lily to jump in with her own made-up joke.

Ryan: What is a ghost's favorite game?

Me: I don't know. What is a ghost's favorite game?

Ryan: Hide and shriek!

Me: (laughing) Great joke Ryan!

Lily: Wait...Daddy...I have one!

Me: OK, let's hear it Lily.

Lily: What is an owl's favorite game?

Me: I don't know. What is an owl's favorite game?

Lily: Whooo....whooo...I love to play basketball.